Monday, March 10, 2008

The Naked Truth

You know you are“software professional” when

• You laugh at the words above in “ ” …’coz there’s nothing professional about you.

• Your day is terribly screwed up if the coffee machine doesn’t work.

• You see a stampede in the opposite cubicle when the guy there opens a “Monaco Biscuits” packet.

• You feel sad for the losers and open a biscuit packet yourself…and then feel sad no one is rushing at you.

• You realize after your first appraisal cycle that “Proactive” is not a shampoo.

• Your “problems” are replaced by “issues”.

• You constantly BELIEVE that the guy next to you is a vegetable….till he gets a raise ahead of you. He’s still a vegetable…but you just discover his name “Mr. Bitter Gourd”.

• You keep asking for answers in English but you realize that people have started speaking in “Managese”.

• You quit feeling bad about pilfering office supplies…instead you plan to open your stationery shop with the unused ones.

• You watch reruns of HBO “Sunday Blockbuster” in your mind to pass time in the team meetings

• You bleat your false attitude through “Tantra” t-shirts.

• You do the above point only on Fridays …’coz you’ve got a dress code to follow.

• You see your manager in the terrorist you head shoot in Counter Strike.

• You classify exercise as running to catch the lift when it is just about to close.

• Your end of the day crisis is that you’ve forgotten to SWIPE OUT.

You laugh at every single point ‘coz they are so true …and at the last point you feel depressed realizing all the points are YOU…

Sunday, January 6, 2008

A letter to the the Australian cricket team


Blah Blah Blah....yes Andrew Symonds we are all racists for calling you a that case I'd better sue my friends....and just about everyone I have known 'coz they've affirmed,testified, gone the whole nine yards, in having been a victim of my "Monkey pranks". And while I am at it...why dont you get some hankies so that you may cry your heart out...and see to it that Mr.Punter...(a.k.a. Mr Integrity) ,Mr.Puppy and the Pigeon join you in your lamentations. We didnt know that you guys loved monkeys so much.

To the Australian cricket team... dont take about sportsmanship , integrity and fairplay wont be able to find them even if i stuck bingo labels on your tush and gave u a mirror on a stick to search for them.

Yes you played very well in Sydney....extremely good batsmen, bowlers, fielders...and to say nothing of the admirable suport from the umpires and the match referee. We people couldnt ask for more from such gracious hosts. And how we look forward to reciprocate this threefold in your next tour; although we might face some problem from the PETA people we will see to it that you get the full package of honours.

Steve...oh Steve....why do you keep forgetting that you are out of the team and you are dont need to justify the behavior of your "MATES". And if your kids banter in the backyard calling their friend's and in return getting called by them as "Bastards",I dont see that as an excuse to call our people the same and get away with it.

As for Mr.Mcgrath,Punter,Symonds and Co...just accept the fact that you've bitten off more than you can chew. Yes,I know you have been taken aback by the new and angry Indian team but lemme tell you something, we'll gladly give you some more high level practice banter in the future matches in the event that we decide to play with you again.

Ohhh...dont get offended by this and report me to the ICC... i was just jousting with you...just like you do.

PS: Learn some integrity and culture from your Media.


One of the million Indians who are sick of your Tantrums and then your "cultural" justification of them.